Dowry issues in India:
There are so many things swimming in my head right now. Anger towards yet another news story hitting about a woman (a young girl actually) raped, beaten and then stoned. Outraged that such atrocities happening to women all over the world but especially to women here in India. It is hard to believe that dowsing women in gasoline and lighting them on fire, torture, rape, domestic violence of many kinds resulting in "kitchen accidents" (a cover up excuse for death) happens not just once in a while but OFTEN to women in India. The stories I have heard are chilling and although I am thankful it seems the awareness is spreading globally there is still so much that needs to be done. From my standpoint it is not enough to shake our heads and walk away. My mind is reeling for what I can DO. A helpless feeling as I am not sure there is anything I CAN do. For now, I guess I am praying for and dreaming of a better world for girls and women across India.
Dowry in India
The reason I am writing again about dowry is because so many of the atrocities done to women in India are over dowry disputes and as promised I wanted to share more. The original purpose of a dowry had completely honorable intentions. The dowry was to provide money or property of some sort in preparation for and the establishment of a new household. It was also to ensure protection and basic support for a family should the husband suddenly pass away. This has morphed into a disgusting practice of a “bride price” system. Although it is illegal to forcefully demand or take dowries in India today as I mentioned before it is still widely practiced.
In current India, the parents of a baby girl are thinking of dowry at her birth. It is customary based on the family’s standing in society to come up with a “suitable” amount set aside for her dowry. There have been horrible stories of the groom's family “agreeing” to one amount of dowry and after the bride is married (and I might add, no longer a virgin) demanding more from the bride's parents. Threats of divorce are often used to entice the bride's parents to give more dowry. In a country where shame is brought down on the divorcee, parents of the bride will do whatever they can to save their daughters this shame. The threat of physical violence is often used and can end up in terrible physically harmful situations for the new bride. Even if the bride's parents are able to scrape together more dowry, they cannot continue doing so forever and eventually the new bride is either sent home in shame or sometimes killed in an "accident".
According to an article entitled The Burning Bride, “ in the last eight years more than 4,000 women have died from ‘kitchen accidents’, or "Choola", which consists of dousing the victim with a flammable agent, either by the husband or with the help of his family, and setting her alight…One of the most abhorrent aspects of Choola is that when and if the bride survives, she is considered ‘bad luck’ and summarily ostracized by the husband and family, leaving the husband free to acquire a new bride.” Also according to this same article “A UNDP study in Bangladesh reports, ‘The incidence of physical and verbal abuse of wives due to non-fulfillment of dowry obligations by their fathers is so high that it is almost considered a norm’ “.
I have seen beggars on the streets shriveled, discolored skin of women here in Chennai and wondered what happened to them and now it seems likely they were victims of choola. Horrific and appalling that this happens at all let alone often.
According to STATUS OF WOMEN AND GIRL CHILDREN IN INDIA.2002 report. (please read)
(COMPILED FROM INTERNET SOURCES including census data.current, HDI.report, and Research from NGOs like Chetna, Sakshi and CRY)
• 1 woman is raped every 32 minutes.
• 1 woman is sexually harassed every 12 minutes.
• 1 woman is murdered due to dowry demands every 66 minutes
• One woman faces torture in her marital relationship every 11 minutes.
•More than half of Indian teenage girls think it is OK for a husband to beat his wife, under certain circumstances..
Often people do not realize the dowry system has repercussions in many different areas other than the obvious horrible one stated above. It is daunting to families of limited means to give birth to daughters because it means money and possibly money they do not have to educate her and provide dowry for her future. Although pregnant women are encouraged not to find out the gender of their babies here in India, you can easily see why they do and bribe doctors to tell them the gender. It is jaw dropping how many baby girls are aborted, and newborn girls left in fields or clay pots to die today because they simply cannot afford her, as opposed to having a boy. Some Heartbreaking, but it is fact, and a common problem in India today.
According to the same research previously mentioned
•1 out of every 6 girls does not live to see her 15th birthday.
•Of the 12 million girls born in India, 1 million do not see their first birthday.
•Every sixth girl child's death is due to gender discrimination.
Even if the girl child does escape female infanticide she can fall victim to parent’s negligence and die of malnutrition or other sever unnecessary deaths because of sheer neglect. The United Nations Children’s Fund estimated that up to 50 million girls and women are ‘missing’ from India’s population because female infanticide, abortions, or high mortality of the girl child due to negligence.
Does this shock you? It should. This isn’t something happening years and years ago that we can say has changed. It is today- CURRENT India. I struggle with these statistics. I struggle to find that this is accepted and eyes look away from this happening to our GIRLS! I say “ours” because we are all God’s children and what do we do to save God’s Girls who were fearfully and wonderfully made according to the Scriptures and whom He loves. ?????????????????
Like I said, my heart is stirred…it has taken me weeks to write this post as my heart has been hurting for these baby girls… The stories have shaken me and wakened a deep compassion and genuine love for these women and girls. I have intense respect for the hardships they have to face and compassion as they are trying to survive in a cold world where they have no voice. A lot has to change and I hope that it will not just be dreaming for India soon, but it will be a better world for India's girls.
There are so many things swimming in my head right now. Anger towards yet another news story hitting about a woman (a young girl actually) raped, beaten and then stoned. Outraged that such atrocities happening to women all over the world but especially to women here in India. It is hard to believe that dowsing women in gasoline and lighting them on fire, torture, rape, domestic violence of many kinds resulting in "kitchen accidents" (a cover up excuse for death) happens not just once in a while but OFTEN to women in India. The stories I have heard are chilling and although I am thankful it seems the awareness is spreading globally there is still so much that needs to be done. From my standpoint it is not enough to shake our heads and walk away. My mind is reeling for what I can DO. A helpless feeling as I am not sure there is anything I CAN do. For now, I guess I am praying for and dreaming of a better world for girls and women across India.
Dowry in India
The reason I am writing again about dowry is because so many of the atrocities done to women in India are over dowry disputes and as promised I wanted to share more. The original purpose of a dowry had completely honorable intentions. The dowry was to provide money or property of some sort in preparation for and the establishment of a new household. It was also to ensure protection and basic support for a family should the husband suddenly pass away. This has morphed into a disgusting practice of a “bride price” system. Although it is illegal to forcefully demand or take dowries in India today as I mentioned before it is still widely practiced.
In current India, the parents of a baby girl are thinking of dowry at her birth. It is customary based on the family’s standing in society to come up with a “suitable” amount set aside for her dowry. There have been horrible stories of the groom's family “agreeing” to one amount of dowry and after the bride is married (and I might add, no longer a virgin) demanding more from the bride's parents. Threats of divorce are often used to entice the bride's parents to give more dowry. In a country where shame is brought down on the divorcee, parents of the bride will do whatever they can to save their daughters this shame. The threat of physical violence is often used and can end up in terrible physically harmful situations for the new bride. Even if the bride's parents are able to scrape together more dowry, they cannot continue doing so forever and eventually the new bride is either sent home in shame or sometimes killed in an "accident".
According to an article entitled The Burning Bride, “ in the last eight years more than 4,000 women have died from ‘kitchen accidents’, or "Choola", which consists of dousing the victim with a flammable agent, either by the husband or with the help of his family, and setting her alight…One of the most abhorrent aspects of Choola is that when and if the bride survives, she is considered ‘bad luck’ and summarily ostracized by the husband and family, leaving the husband free to acquire a new bride.” Also according to this same article “A UNDP study in Bangladesh reports, ‘The incidence of physical and verbal abuse of wives due to non-fulfillment of dowry obligations by their fathers is so high that it is almost considered a norm’ “.
I have seen beggars on the streets shriveled, discolored skin of women here in Chennai and wondered what happened to them and now it seems likely they were victims of choola. Horrific and appalling that this happens at all let alone often.
According to STATUS OF WOMEN AND GIRL CHILDREN IN INDIA.2002 report. (please read)
(COMPILED FROM INTERNET SOURCES including census data.current, HDI.report, and Research from NGOs like Chetna, Sakshi and CRY)
• 1 woman is raped every 32 minutes.
• 1 woman is sexually harassed every 12 minutes.
• 1 woman is murdered due to dowry demands every 66 minutes
• One woman faces torture in her marital relationship every 11 minutes.
•More than half of Indian teenage girls think it is OK for a husband to beat his wife, under certain circumstances..
Often people do not realize the dowry system has repercussions in many different areas other than the obvious horrible one stated above. It is daunting to families of limited means to give birth to daughters because it means money and possibly money they do not have to educate her and provide dowry for her future. Although pregnant women are encouraged not to find out the gender of their babies here in India, you can easily see why they do and bribe doctors to tell them the gender. It is jaw dropping how many baby girls are aborted, and newborn girls left in fields or clay pots to die today because they simply cannot afford her, as opposed to having a boy. Some Heartbreaking, but it is fact, and a common problem in India today.
According to the same research previously mentioned
•1 out of every 6 girls does not live to see her 15th birthday.
•Of the 12 million girls born in India, 1 million do not see their first birthday.
•Every sixth girl child's death is due to gender discrimination.
Even if the girl child does escape female infanticide she can fall victim to parent’s negligence and die of malnutrition or other sever unnecessary deaths because of sheer neglect. The United Nations Children’s Fund estimated that up to 50 million girls and women are ‘missing’ from India’s population because female infanticide, abortions, or high mortality of the girl child due to negligence.
Does this shock you? It should. This isn’t something happening years and years ago that we can say has changed. It is today- CURRENT India. I struggle with these statistics. I struggle to find that this is accepted and eyes look away from this happening to our GIRLS! I say “ours” because we are all God’s children and what do we do to save God’s Girls who were fearfully and wonderfully made according to the Scriptures and whom He loves. ?????????????????
Like I said, my heart is stirred…it has taken me weeks to write this post as my heart has been hurting for these baby girls… The stories have shaken me and wakened a deep compassion and genuine love for these women and girls. I have intense respect for the hardships they have to face and compassion as they are trying to survive in a cold world where they have no voice. A lot has to change and I hope that it will not just be dreaming for India soon, but it will be a better world for India's girls.
Oh, this heart breaking!! It just makes me cry. I feel bad for those women. It's easy to just pretend the world is happy by focusing on my own life. I am glad you posted this blog it was eye opening and it is a current issue and needs awareness. Praying for them and for you!
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